Dave, you should check out the FINA World Swimming Championships on TV later today. They’re on at 2:30pm Eastern on NBC. Not sure what time they’ll be on in CO…

Why do Grindr hookups only happen between guys? Because we’re guys, Dave. We’re thinking about it and wanting it, speedo-clad or not, all the time. It’s the same reason that Dan Savage says men should be barred from marriage if all marriages must be monogamous. Men are, as the adage goes, pigs. I know I wouldn’t have it any other way…would you? 😉

Who is the last guy? fitter version of Tom Daley!!

A,

I saw Dan Savage on Bill Maher last week. I didn’t know anything about him and I was disappointed.

He was the only panelist who felt the need to swear, he was dressed the worst and he said what we expect every gay man to say – he is happy married now, he loves Obama and he thinks gay couples make good parents. I agree but he took over the conversation and didn’t add too much to it.

I was interested to see how Grover Norquist presented himself in that kind of forum but the gay guy took over the conversation. I’m not a fan of Grover Norquist at all – I was just interested to see how he’d handle sitting opposite the table to Maher and Maher asking some tough questions.

Just my two cents worth – you probably know more about Dan Savage than I do, what do you think of him?

Dave

PS – I just read that Grover Norquist and Dan Savage both parents of adopted kids. Isn’t that interesting.

Interesting you feel that way, Dave. I really look to Dan Savage as a lodestone. He’s honest and unflinching with his relationship advice. He advocates for degrees of openness in relationships, which I think is probably smart, especially among gay men, but also in hetero relationships. He’s pointed me to interesting literature on the foundations of our kinks and fetishes, as well as the genetic and biological origins of our sexual desires (Christopher Ryan, Sex at Dawn). I think he’s a smart guy who doesn’t pull any punches, and one who knows that, in order to obtain equal protection under the law for LGBTQ folks, middle America can’t be allowed to shy away from us. The more comfortable with gay people and gay culture, the better chance we have of being treated equally. I’m not the best person to appeal to as one who would be appalled by cursing or a loud pink polo (I thought he looked good in it, btw). We may simply have different opinions about his relative worth in the community, Dave, and that’s totally cool. Have you seen Dan’s husband Terry’s Instagram? He’s a model for the brand Mr. Turk and frequently snaps himself wearing speedo-style bathing suits. Here’s a link: http://instagram.com/terrysphots#

I like gentleman #2 better than bloke #1, but I don’t like #2’s speedo; I can’t tell a thing about #3 other than his arse ain’t half bad (but that’s nowhere near enough for my own tastes); and, I’m familiar with fellow #4 from various catalogues (e.g. Undergear) and websites, but had not noticed the Tom Daley resemblance, so thanks for pointing it out, Ben! 🙂 If I had to choose just one, I’d probably go with #4, thus, with #2 a close second (ha-ha).

As to Dan Savage: yes, he’s funny sometimes, but he’s also extremely biphobic and transphobic; like many privileged mainstreaming gay men in the U.S., he doesn’t believe bisexuality really exists–there’s only “teh gayz” and “teh str8s,” and if you are willing to have sex with a guy, then you’re gay and should just admit it and quit kidding yourself, etc. (Bullshit.) While he is still considered “edgy” in “polite” company, he’s about as mainstream and privileged as white gay males can get in the U.S. His “It Gets Better” campaign was more self-congratulatory than helpful (and didn’t prevent several suicides of gay youth who had no other options and thought that the program was for them to be involved with rather than something that was supposed to help serve their needs…which just shows how confused and ineffectual their message has been), and was likewise completely blinded by the privilege involved in Savage and his immediate associates (i.e. adult privilege, and the fact that “It Gets Better” only applies to some people who can, for example, get educated, get a good job, and then leave whatever podunk community they live in for a bigger city where there is a gay community, which is becoming less and less likely an option for more people as time goes on) before everyone else started getting involved in it and could thus also jump on his bandwagon and show how supportive of gay people they were while not actually doing a damn thing to make it better for the at-risk youths involved. It was more something that he could do and print up t-shirts for than anything, I think (and, I suspect, an excuse to have a 501-3-C tax-exempt charity out of which he could pay himself a salary for being the founder/director and principal paid speaker). I can’t say I’m a fan of his…even though he started out here in the Seattle area writing relationship advice for the local alternative paper, The Stranger.

Just remembered the name of the book: The Other Side of Desire (http://www.amazon.com/The-Other-Side-Desire-Journeys/dp/0060885572/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1376134102&sr=8-1&keywords=the+other+side+of+desire)