I’m very up front about my blog, for a variety of reasons:

1)I am, publicly, Wendy Blackheart. I very rarely use my birth name IRL. My family uses it, and a few friends use it who’ve known me for years, and knew me before I was Wendy. The blog is an extension of my personality, and it helps people get to know me and what I’m about.

2)It weeds out “teh vanilla’s”. If the contents of my blog freak you out, then you probably can’t handle me in person. As a friend pointed out, I go to 11. People who deal with me need to at least be able to hit 7.

3)If you know that I am a sex blogger, and you know my blog, then I consider sex/having a scene with me to imply consent to be written about.

4)As an old friend of mine used to say “Fuck ’em and feed ’em beans.” If someone can’t deal with who you are, the blog and websites being part of that, then they aren’t worth it.

I’ve had some internet privacy/security breaches myself recently, which is rather annoying. I have different and separate parts of my life that I like to explore online, and thus I often have different names I use for different activities. Some dumbshit, to discredit my academic critique of some things he posted, then spammed a bunch of public forums about me being a “sexual pervert” and the whole nine yards. I did what any self-respecting sexual pervert should, and said “Yes, but you haven’t actually answered any of my critiques…” It’s still very annoying. I hope there isn’t any bad fallout from this for you, and that the lady in question becomes favorably disposed toward you nonetheless.

Hi Dave

Firstly, glad all is well over there. When I saw the plane crash on the news I wondered about you over in the snow.

Secondly, don’t change a thing. You are Dave and do it very well. Computer nerd or not, you are who you are and don’t worry about others too much. Be proud of your blog, it is great reflection on you !!!

Aussie Dave

Wendy,

I remember reading on your blog when you were at a restaurant and the waitress recognised you (I might have the details wrong but I do remember reading that on your blog).

What an awesome story and in NYC it isn’t like it is a small mountain town.

Thanks for your feedback – this is the first ‘negative’ feedback I’ve had in ‘real life’ and I’ll think about it a little more and maybe write about it again in a week.

Dave

Lol, that was a fun night. Considering I was talking about rats AND anal sex (though not in the same context. Never in the same context) it was easy, but it was so funny, because NYC is SO BIG. But the world of perverts is small. 🙂

I’m sorry you had a negative experience at all. It can be rough, putting your sex life into the public square, and its unfortunate that people still judge others on their sex lives and sexuality. I hope it doesn’t happen to you again. <3

Durr, Ron White!

Ron White

i am muslim and very much gay =)
its hard for me to come to terms with being gay and being muslim for obvious reasons but i know god loves us all and i just try my best to be a good person! and i’m loving your blog

and i’d just like to point out that there are just as many gay muslim men as in any religion all over the world =) and that you can still be gay and love allah, and that you can still be muslim and love all other people of other religions and faith =)

David,

Thank you for your comments mate – if you had left an email address I would have replied to you personally as well as on this blog (email addresses on comments aren’t published online).

My post was rather candid and it is only reflective of the last couple of months. Since I began SwimmerBoyz.com in March 2001 I’ve had far more nasty emails from right wing ‘Christians’ – perhaps the recents emails are just a fad.

I thank you for your honesty and I imagine that you are facing similar hardships as other gay/bi guys around the world in different cultures and different religions.

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment here David.

Dave

PS – You and I share the name of an Israeli King – my parents are catholic and my Grandfathers middle name was David which is how I was named. Interesting for a muslim to be named after an Israeli King.

Ron White is da man…

Sorry to hear that, Dave…

Running an online group that is focused on a minority religion which is not monotheistic and not LGBTQ-negative (which is to say, it isn’t just LGBTQ-positive, it’s LGBTQ based to a great extent), we’ve had religious proselytizing infiltrators before, which is why we have moderated membership…And some still manage to get by those failsafes. It can certainly be disheartening, not to mention annoying, but this is what we have to deal with.

There certainly are gay-affirmative Christians and Muslims in the world (and in fact, some of the most vocally gay-affirmative Christians I’ve ever met are Aussies, including my friends Michael Carden and Michael Kelly, both of whom are public figures and thus I don’t shy from giving their names here), and I’m thankful for them. But I think a bit more work could be done on the part of the affirmative folks to get their less affirmative brethren to get on the ball a bit more, or failing that, to at least get them to shut up about it and make it less profitable for them to do so.

Anyway…

Crap. I was hoping I’d be the first to offer Ron White but of course I’m late to the party as usual. But now I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep tonight without having read the original post.