Last Friday night I had my first big night out in a while.
Any of you old readers know that I have some friends in San Francisco, I was staying with them before I did my road trip to Breckenridge to see Kip. I did have a naughty experience with them a few years ago but the wife just had a kid so we are all just friends now.
Since I’m back in San Francisco they are pretty much the only ‘normal’ people I know (she is a kiwi and I met them in New Zealand through some mutual snowboarding friends years ago).
So we went out on the town. With the baby being born both of them have been behaving of course and last night was the first time the missus had a drink of alcohol (it has been 3 months since the baby and she only had 2 glasses of champagne). Unfortuntely, or perhaps fortunately, the husband and I were in good form. My new pad in only a couple of blocks from their house on Deluce Park and husband and I had a BIG ONE.
To put it bluntly – we were both munted!!!
Wife went home pretty early to relieve the baby sitter but us boys kept partying on.
I didn’t pick up and it was probably a good thing since I’m pretty sure I wouldbn’t have put in much of a performance.
Anyway – today I met husband, wife and baby for a late lunch and a bit of a debrief. Husband and I were a little seedy – quite frankly I could have just lied in bed all day.
During lunch husband asks me if I remember a tall blonde girl with a pearl necklace. I remember talking to the girl, I can’t remember her name (even now), but she was a pretty girl. I even remember when I first started our conversation – we were both at the bar and I told her that pretty girls aren’t allowed to buy drinks and I bought her a drink.
Turns out – after talking to this girl for a while I introduced husband into the conversation and then after a few minutes I went to grab another round of drinks.
That was when ‘Pearl Necklace’ told Husband that my pickup line was “I’m rich, and I’d like to lick your pussy”
I cannot remember saying that then or ever before. For starters I’m not rich at all but I would have licked her pussy. Maybe I meant to say – one of the next 2 things I say is true and one is false. Hahahaha.
Turns out Pearl Necklace thought that I was charming and thought that I was sweet despite my obviously intoxicated state.
However, on my way to get another round of drinks I was distracted like an ADHD kid on red cordial and was seen on the dance floor with 4 ladies in their 60’s.
Not surprisingly – I did not get laid that night. Probably a good thing since I’m pretty sure apart from my pussy licking skills I wouldn’t have put on much of a performance.
What is the funniest thing you’ve said under the influence that you would never in a million years say if you were sober?
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ass licks shit yeah !