Late night here and last night I ran into a guy at one of the local bars and he knows that I write this blog. We aren’t really friends but I met him 2 years ago when I was here in in town and we have been facebook friends (add me as a friend – link on the right under my foto).
I was going to have a play and be flirty with this guy but he told me that I need to go to ‘hospital’ because I don’t act/accecpt my gayness because I was out with a bunch of guys and girls.
I think he is offended because of my bisexuality.
I had a bunch of folks out with me and I got out of there as fast as I could. The guy went from a happy go lucky drinking buddy (I bought him a drink) to a nasty gay rights Nazi – as in – you have no rights to write your blog unless you are 100% gay.
‘Dave Evans’ isn’t really gay. We’ll I’ve sucked cock on multiple occasions, I’ve had cock in my arse on multiple occasions – and I’ve sucked cock and had cock in my arse at the same time on multiple occasions.
None of that makes me gay because I find women attractive.
Wonder if that argument will work with my 98yo Catholic Grandfather.
Does me having sex with (and being attracted to) women while running a gay business makes me a pauper and in need of hospitalization?
I would love to do a character comparisson with this fella but since this is my soap box it would be unfair, one sided and I enjoy my privacy and I would never intrude on anyone elses privacy.
It is a shame – I really, really like this guy. Aside from being a good looking guy, I like him. I’d love to have him around Kips place for a dinner but he has these nasty, close minded attitudes.
This fella told me tonight that I need to go to hospital because I’m not admitting my ‘gay’ side. There are a lot of people that have gone to religious ‘gay camps’ to straighten them out. Such ignorance.
Have gay guys gotten so comfortable in their own skin that they now feel free to dictate to others what is normal? Such ignorance.
I’m definitely non-scene, the gay guys I hang out with are close friends and guys I work with and do business with. I am pretty much str8 acting and this guy doesn’t know me very well so perhaps I’m taking an extreme view and I am trying not to generalize.
I know you guys will have some thoughts and opinions – I’d love to hear your comments (you don’t have to leave an email – but if you are nasty I get to remove your comment).
12 Users Responded in " Not gay enough….. "
This acquaintance of yours represents a lot of gay people’s attitudes, unfortunately. You’re right that it’s incredibly close-minded. Truth be told, Dave, you’ve opened my eyes to the experience of what it’s like to be bisexual.
I used to think that true bisexuals are like unicorns or leprechauns. Oh well, his loss.
Sometimes I have found that gays are more judgemental of bisexual guys, or straight guys that are open minded within their own bodies to discover pleasure. Why do people always want to fit everyone in a box with limited boundaries??
I have been told by some people that I am “not gay enough” because I find all genders attractive and have had sex and/or relationships with them; I’ve also been told by certain other people that I’m “too gay” when I do things like dance or talk about speedos, etc.
This whole thing of “too queer/not queer enough” needs to stop all around, I think. For some people, any will be too much; and for others, all will never be enough. For the former, it’s closed-minded straight people or assimilationist gays; for the latter, it’s generally someone who is a gay monosexual who for whatever reason has decided that someone else just will never be good enough, and they use this lame-ass excuse to attempt to justify it.
I’m sick of all the biphobia in the gay community, the pejorative comments on bisexual promiscuity (which might be flattering if they were actually true, at least in my case!), and the statements like “Bi-Town is just a stop on the way to Gay-Town.” Bullshit!
Point being: there’s a lot of gay triumphalism out there, which is just as insecure and irrelevant as heterosexism. There are all different types of people, with all different levels of attraction to all different genders, and everyone has their own mix. Anyone who isn’t comfortable with the mix someone else has on any of those matters needs to figure out why they can’t accept other people, and not spend any more time trying to “fix” other people who aren’t broken.
Continue to kick ass, Dave–you’re fantastic, and this person is a loser.
I agree with all of the previous comments and will add that I have found in some instances gays have a fear of bi-sexuals. Can’t explain why so won’t attempt it. All I know from experience is that gays and heteros both have their prejudices.
Just an after thought to my previous comment. Your 98 year old grandfather may be more accepting than you think–sometimes age mellows one BUT I am not suggesting you go there.
Many gay guys identify as bi as part of their coming out process. So it can sometimes be difficult to identify the true bisexual from the actually-gay-but-calling-himself-bi-because-he’s-too-chicken-shit-to-come-out-totally gay guy. I suspect that Dave met someone who assumed he needed a little push to be completely honest with himself. What that makes the cute-but-angry acquaintance is an asshole.
Aww what a nice ass 🙂
Be who you are, Dave, because that’s what you do best!
He’s one of those people who believe no one is bisexual and if you sleep with men that you are gay, no question. Very close-minded indeed.
I have come to believe that bi is, well, normal. 🙂
These days in all my stories I celebrate men who love (and lust after) men as well as women. Why not?
I used to think I was a gay man who married a woman. After meeting lots of bi blokes and thinking hard about it, I’ve come to realise that I am bi. I incline to the gay end, but I find some women sexy, some in fact really hot.
*Potentially* bisexual blokes form 30% or 40% of the male population. In the right circumstances, with the right guy, men will love and have sex with other men. Of course, wives tend to take a dim view of their husbands making love to others, male or female, so bi guys “pass” as straight after marriage.
I am convinced that m2m love side by side with m2f love was essential to the survival of our ancestors: it helped bond the tribe together. Just ask yourself: why else is prostate massage so good?
I agree with Bali – just be yourself. What I can’t understand is why some people have to pigeon-hole others. Why can’t we all be who we are without all the bigotry and other nonsense. What happened to the phrase “Live and let live”?
Be true to yourself Dave. The guy may be narrow minded, may be struggling himself, or may just have a screwed up view of the world. It’s a bit ironic though that some gay guys seem to make it their aim to “convert” straight guys and yet have a problem with bi-guys?
Go figure…
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