The word of God

You guys know I enjoy my politics BUT all these darn Romney and Obama commercials are getting a bit too much…. and there is a long way to go.

One of the talking points this last week is on abortions.  I’d consider myself a republican (maybe more of a libertarian) – and republicans want smaller government and in general we want government to butt out of our lives.  Why the fuck then are a bunch of old white men telling women what they can and can’t do with their bodies?

Does anyone else think that is an oxymoron?  And I love the way they stand on the bible while they spill this dribble (I’m not talking so much about the candidates as much as I’m talking about the extreme points of view).

They spill the same dribble when it comes to who you and I choose to sleep with.

I saw this posted on a blog that I read and thought it was funny and I hope it is true.

In her radio show, Dr. Laura Schlessinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination … End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

  1.  Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
  2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
  3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness – Lev. 15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
  4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev. 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
  5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
  6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination? Should I smite him?
  7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
  8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
  9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
  10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev. 24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.
James M. Kauffman, Ed. D.

Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction and Special Education University of Virginia

P. S. It would be a damn shame if we can’t own a Canadian.

9 Users Responded in " The word of God "

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ososdeoro said,  

Well it’s nice you THINK that Republicans want smaller government, but no Republican president since maybe Ford , or any Republican-controlled Congress, has ever achieved such a thing, or even come close. Only Democrats have managed to reduce the rate of spending growth, and only Democrats have managed to come close to balancing the budget, which I’d think would be your second priority if neither party is doing much to “shrink government.” And the dude in the square cuts is hot.

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Hungspeedoguy said,  

Ahhhh Christians. Not to mention the parts of the bible that talk about loving others. There is no clear proof of a heaven or hell. So when people suggest that I make the life a living hell by not acting on my urges and desires that bring insane pleasure in the present I think they must be having a bubble! haha

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Dr. Phil said,  

As a theologian, I can state definitively that all that is written in the above letter is correct–those are all things that are prohibited or allowed in the Pentateuch. Of course, we never hear about those things from good bible-believin’ Christians (or from the small number of hardcore Jews who promote homophobic viewpoints), because they are very selective in their fundamentalism.

Good thing I’m not a Christian (or a Jew or a Muslim), as I don’t have to either explain why I think that brand of nonsense is true, or explain away why it isn’t true. There are other religions that are perfectly fine with homoeriticsm, and I’m proud to be a member of one of those.

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alexbiguy said,  

Sounds like your more a fiscal conservative, conserned with taxes, etc…. I imagine as a bisexual your not socially conservative, i.e. against gay rights, etc….

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admin said,  

AlexBiGuy,

You are correct – I’d consider myself a fiscal conservative. I think it is a shame that US conservativism attaches abortion, gay rights and religion. I’m sure there are many other younger people who feel the same.

Dave

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WolfGuy007 said,  

Problem with a lot of these are that people and most Christians have NO clue how the bible’s parts are meant to be interpreted and how they match with our modern lives. Every 2nd Tom, Dick and Harry goes out to claim they are a “Theologian”. Being a Protestant Christian I have no reason to see homosexuality as a sin at all, I can justify it all without having to bash my own religion. Half my damn family being their own “Theologists” I can confidently say I know what I am talking about.

Long story short, the new testament is more the part that applies to daily life, where as the old testament is more for background and “informational purposes” I know I am not explaining it right most likely, but really people should stop this back and forth bashing, its just as frustrating for us who believe as it is for you atheists or “whatever you might be” guys…

Being intolerant makes you no less a bigot as the other “Christians” out there!

So let’s maybe try and get along instead of attacking and stirring the pot of draaaama.

Peace!

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Dr. Phil said,  

WolfGuy007: I actually have an advanced degree in theology, so I’m not just saying “I’m a theologian” randomly and with no legitimacy–it was a degree granted by a Jesuit institution, it had to do with theologies around sexual ethics in particular, and it was heavily based in biblical studies.

There are certainly people who are Christians (and Jews and Muslims) who are living very good lives, and who are exemplary members of their religion. They do what they feel is right by everyone, and they do a very good job of it. Unfortunately, their holy scriptures–you know, those things that some of them (particularly many types of evangelical protestants) consider to be literally true and inerrant–contradict their own scriptures by holding certain viewpoints and not others.

Unfortunately, what you’re saying about the Hebrew Bible (what you Christians often call the “old testament”) is not at all accurate. Your Jesus says it directly in Matthew 5:18: “I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.” By “the Law” is meant the Torah, specifically the first five books of the Hebrew Bible, including Leviticus, which is the text from which most of the rules in the above letter to Dr. Laura originate. Your idea that the Hebrew Bible is just there for background information is contradicted by a phrase from “the part that applies to daily life,” and which was said by no less a figure than Jesus himself!

It’s always possible to have good people who live well within religious frameworks that aren’t always just, or logical, or completely as loving as they’d like one to think. I’t’s also possible to have religions that aren’t so full of hubris or presumption as to think that a text written 1800-2500 years ago has “rules” in it that must be followed inerrantly for all time to be very just, logical, and as loving as possible toward everyone without any difficulty. Some of these religions will not appeal to some people for various reasons, all of which are fine.

Being critical of the very real problems involved in a religion that has near-total hegemony over Western culture (and has had for the past 1,500 years) and which bases its ethics and theological supremacy on such flawed textual sources, is VERY DIFFERENT than being intolerant or bigoted. It always amuses me that Christians, who are one of the dominant religions on the planet, are the first to cry “you’re persecuting me!” and “you’re intolerant and a bigot!” when someone within another religion that is tiny and has little political or institutional power even questions their viewpoint. If your religion is not self-secure enough to withstand a little bit of questioning, the problem isn’t other people being intolerant, the problem is your religion’s insecurity.

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Hungspeedoguy said,  

Dr. Phil you are full of surprises!

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Steve R said,  

As a mate of mine commented, the bible = proof that God exists. Comic books = proof that superheroes such as Superman exist. Job done.

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