Article I just read – speedos vs dork shorts

Here is something I read which made me smile and I thought I should share it with you guys – I’ll post speedo pics throughout the article from my archives.

“Nobody wants to wear clothes in the summer. It’s hot and muggy and after a long winter of wearing it all, it only makes sense that by July, everyone wants to bare it all.

Those who long to lounge in a little less tend to congregate in the one place we can all share some skin and get away with it – the beach. Hot sand, cool water, and tanned female bodies make for a pleasurable experience. But with every swim season comes the penultimate question for every well-dressed man: shorts or Speedo?

The immediate gut reaction is to scream shorts! Speedos are only worn by underwear models and European tourists, right? Maybe not. Maybe there’s more to this than we think. Could this preference for shorts merely be a cultural bias? An attempt to hide our shortcomings? Or are shorts simply the better choice when it comes to swimming attire? It’s up for debate and I’ve decided to settle the issue once and for all.

Comfort and Ease

Most men like to keep it simple and the truth is, shorts are simple. Not a lot of thought goes into buying a pair of shorts. Colour, pattern, and you’re done. However if you’re going with the Speedo, one must consider, ahem, the whole package.

Speedos leave very little to the imagination and therefore size and girth might dictate your eventual choice over polka dots or stripes. Self-esteem aside, one shouldn’t forget the bikini wax, or the target-specific shaving that every Speedo wearer must consider. Either way you look at it, wearing less, requires a lot more effort. In terms of ease, shorts are the obvious choice.

Advantage: Shorts

Speedos at the beach

Get Noticed

In spite of all the effort that goes into choosing a Speedo, the obvious benefit of wearing such a revealing garment is its ability to attract. As long as you are remotely up to par below the belly button, as you cruise the beach women will turn their heads and stare at your nether regions. This can only be a good thing.

Very few men have the balls (pun intended) to wear so little, therefore you will be immediately singled out from the crowd as a unique, brave and hopefully worthy potential date for the single beach babes. A pair of shorts no matter how flashy will only blend you into the crowd. If you’re looking for attention and an easy icebreaker, the Speedo wins this competition pants.err. hands down.

Advantage: Speedo

Speedo erection


The sun has begun to set, the volleyball net has been taken down and your beach party is moving up to the cottage. People around you are beginning to put on some extra clothes for the evening. If you are in a pair of shorts, your options for an outfit are endless. You can take the easy route and wear a t-shirt. If you’re looking to impress, a well-matched button up shirt can look excellent.

However, if you opted for the Speedo no matter what you put on top, you will end up looking like your buddy’s girlfriend wearing one of his shirts to bed. Unless you wear XS t-shirts there’s a good chance whatever you’re wearing will cover up your swimwear, making you look awkward and a bit like a pervert lounging in his underwear. Put it this way, would you party with your friends in tighty-whities?

Advantage: Shorts


leave it to the pros

Wearing a Speedo can be a fun idea and a goal to aim for if you’re a man who spends a lot of time working out. But in reality, they are often embarrassing and uncomfortable. Shorts provide comfort, style and a spontaneity to partake in activities beyond swimming without a hitch.

Unless you are competing in a swim meet or have a sculpted body Speedos really only provide permanent wedgies and snickers from passers-by. More power to those men out there who can pull it off, but for the rest of us, stock up on shorts this summer.

Link to article.

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