Tougher Being Gay

Thanks for your comments and emails on yesterdays post.  If I get 3 comments here, you bet I’m getting 5 times that many emails – I prefer the comments and I get to reply to the comments more than emails but I appreciate them both.

I only touched on it yesterday about depression but it seems to have opened a can of worms.

Is the gay community more vulnerable to depression?

Despite the evolution in social acceptance, does ‘coming out’ still trouble a lot of us?

I’m not out.  My circle of friends here in Aussie think I’m 100% str8.  I am completely comfortable with my current situation, you guys know I like girls as well as guys.  You know I’ve actually been given a hard time over the years BECAUSE I like girls from my gay friends.  If I was 100% out to everyone, I would feel that it would restrict my str8 side.

It is easier for me staying in the closet and I’m fine with that – at this point in my life, I don’t want to identify/explain my sexuality.

Perhaps I’m taking the easy option.  It must be terrifying for guys who are gay to come out.  I’m sure friendships are lost/broken by coming out which is horrible but a fact of life unfortunately.

Does this whole, explaining ones sexuality bring a bigger risk of depression, anxiety to our community?

I’d love to hear your thoughts guys – I’m off to the pool.  Alex can’t make it today, I was going to skip it but I was wearing my black arena speedos and I saw this pic and I want his body which was enough motivation for me to head to the pool.

Swimmers Body

4 Users Responded in " Tougher Being Gay "

Sam Speedo said,  

Wow! Awesome musculature, gorgeous body! Great pair of speedos, too!

Re: depression and “coming out”, I’m sure it causes a lot of problems for some guys, particularly those from conservative / religious / bigoted families – though I do know of some who have eventually found acceptance even though the path to acceptance was long and wrenching for all involved.

Never had the desire to “come out” . . . maybe I’m just comfortable “inside”. I see a few gay and bi guys discreetly . . . I respect their wish for discretion as do they for mine. Would probably describe myself as gay even though I don’t define myself or place in the world, by my sexuality.

I suspect you’re right about revealing your sexuality as providing a greater risk for depression. For some guys, being ‘in’ or ‘out’ poses similar problems. If you agonise about your situation, it only makes your position worse.

What do other guys think?

Dave Evans said,  


Great to hear from another guy who is comfortable being ‘inside’ as you put it.

I like the way you said that you aren’t defined by your sexuality. Str8 people aren’t defined by their sexuality and I don’t understand why some gay folks make such a big deal about it.

Thanks for your thoughts Sam.


beerdoc_colorado said,  

wow, somebody has been working out! those are not “swimmer” muscles. His suit fits him great! I would definitely spend all my time taking pictures of him in every conceivable position.

k1speedo said,  

Wow is right, this guy looks a lot like my cousin who is a water polo player but probably isn’t quite so muscular.

I’m much like you Sam, comfortable being ‘inside’ too and I totally agree your sexuality does not define who you are. Not sure why big stars (like Thorpe) need to declare their sexuality, to me that means that totally straight people should announce that they are just that, straight. But as you say there are so many bigoted people out there that say ‘if you don’t fit my model of life then you should be ostracised’.

My sister is very religious and she switched churches because her church was going to allow gays as ministers. I love her dearly but such a bigoted approach. I wonder what she would say if she found out her brother was gay/bi-sexual.

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